Funny jokes about engineers
There are 10 different kinds of people.
Those who understand binary, and those who don't.
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Q: Why do computer engineers get Halloween and Christmas mixed up?
A: Because 31oct = 25dec.
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Q: What caused the mechanical engineer to strain his brain?
A: Too much stress!
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To the optimist, the glass is half full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
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Q: Do you have any sodium, bromine, and oxygen on you?
A: Na BrO
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Q: What do engineers use for birth control?
A: Their personalities.
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Q: What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?
A: Mechanical Engineers build weapons; Civil Engineers build targets.
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Q: How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: No one knows, they never figured it out.
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Q: How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None: you can solve any problem in the software!
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Two engineers were on a date at a swimming pool. They are sitting on the end of a diving board when the guy says to the girl, "I think we're having a moment." The girl looks to the guy and says, "We'd make a great couple."
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A physician, an engineer, and an attorney were discussing who among them belonged to the oldest of the three professions represented. The physician said, "Remember, on the sixth day God took a rib from Adam and fashioned Eve, making him the first surgeon. Therefore, medicine is the oldest profession."
The engineer replied, "But, before that, God created the heavens and earth from chaos and confusion, and thus he was the first engineer. Therefore, engineering is an older profession than medicine."
Then, the lawyer spoke up. "Yes," he said, "But who do you think created all of the chaos and confusion?"
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Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet. (Scott Adams)
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An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there.
The engineer said, "I like both."
"Both?" they asked.
Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get some work done."
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