Funny jokes about accountants
Q. How do you drive an accountant absolutely insane?
A. Tie him to a chair, and fold a road map up wrong in front of him.
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Q. Why did the Accountant cross the road?
A. To bore the people on the other side!
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Q: When does a person decide to become an accountant?
A: When he realises he does not have the charisma to succeed as an undertaker.
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Q: Why do some accountants decide to become actuaries?
A: They find bookkeeping too exciting.
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Q. Why do audit firms only have 10 minute coffee breaks?
A. If the breaks were longer, they'd have to retrain all the staff.
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Q. Why do Accountant's make good lovers?
A. They're great with their figures.
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Q. What is the difference between a CPA and a shopping cart?
A. A CPA holds more beverage.
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Q. What do you call an Accountant who marries an Actuary?
A. A Social Climber.
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Q. What does an accountant use for birth control?
A. His personality.
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Q: When does a person decide to become an accountant?
A: When he realizes that he doesn't have the charisma to become an undertaker.
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Q: Why did the accountant cross the road?
A: To bore the people on the other side.
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Q: What does an accountant use for birth control?
A: His personality.
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Q: How can you tell when an accountant is extroverted?
A: He looks at your shoes while he's talking to you instead of his own.
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Q: What do you call an accountant seen talking to someone?
A: Popular.
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Q: What do accountant's do for fun?
A: Add up the telephone book.
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Q: If an accountant's wife can't get to sleep, what does she do?
A: Leans over to her husband and says "Tell me about work today, honey."
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A lady goes to see her doctor with some very worrisome symptoms. After examining her, he says, "I'm terribly sorry to tell you this, but you only havesix months to live." The lady is very distraught, "Oh doctor, what should I do", she asks. The doctor says, "I advise you to marry a CPA.""Will that make me live longer?", she asks, hopefully. "No, " says the doctor. "But it will seem longer."
Q. How do you drive an accountant absolutely insane?
A. Tie him to a chair, and fold a road map up wrong in front of him.
--------------------
Q. Why did the Accountant cross the road?
A. To bore the people on the other side!
--------------------
Q: When does a person decide to become an accountant?
A: When he realises he does not have the charisma to succeed as an undertaker.
--------------------
Q: Why do some accountants decide to become actuaries?
A: They find bookkeeping too exciting.
--------------------
Q. Why do audit firms only have 10 minute coffee breaks?
A. If the breaks were longer, they'd have to retrain all the staff.
--------------------
Q. Why do Accountant's make good lovers?
A. They're great with their figures.
--------------------
Q. What is the difference between a CPA and a shopping cart?
A. A CPA holds more beverage.
--------------------
Q. What do you call an Accountant who marries an Actuary?
A. A Social Climber.
--------------------
Q. What does an accountant use for birth control?
A. His personality.
--------------------
Q: When does a person decide to become an accountant?
A: When he realizes that he doesn't have the charisma to become an undertaker.
--------------------
Q: Why did the accountant cross the road?
A: To bore the people on the other side.
--------------------
Q: What does an accountant use for birth control?
A: His personality.
--------------------
Q: How can you tell when an accountant is extroverted?
A: He looks at your shoes while he's talking to you instead of his own.
--------------------
Q: What do you call an accountant seen talking to someone?
A: Popular.
--------------------
Q: What do accountant's do for fun?
A: Add up the telephone book.
--------------------
Q: If an accountant's wife can't get to sleep, what does she do?
A: Leans over to her husband and says "Tell me about work today, honey."
--------------------
A lady goes to see her doctor with some very worrisome symptoms. After examining her, he says, "I'm terribly sorry to tell you this, but you only havesix months to live." The lady is very distraught, "Oh doctor, what should I do", she asks. The doctor says, "I advise you to marry a CPA.""Will that make me live longer?", she asks, hopefully. "No, " says the doctor. "But it will seem longer."