Funny jokes about Britain and the british
A ship is sinking. A British with a pipe in his mouth asks the captain:
- Sir, which of those boats are for smokers?
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Q: How do police know that princess Diana had dandruff?
A: They found her head and shoulders under the steering wheel.
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Q: How does every English joke start?
A: By looking over your shoulder.
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Q: Whats the difference between a smart English man and a unicorn?
A: Nothing, they're both fictional characters
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Q: What's the difference between England and a tea bag?
A: The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
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Q: What do you call an Englishman in the knockout stages of the World Cup?
A: A Referee.
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Q: Why was Fabio Capello speeding?
A: To get three points.
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Q: What does the Loch Ness monster eat?
A: Fish and ships
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Q: What's the difference between Princess Diana and Elton John?
A: Princess Diana never became a queen of Englan
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Q: Why aren't the England football team allowed to own a dog?
A: Because they can't hold on to a lead.
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Q: Why do the English make better lovers than the Germans?
A: Because English are the only one's who can stay on top for 45 minutes and still come second.
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Q: Did you hear about the winner of the English beauty contest?
A: Me neither.
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Q: Whats the difference between Cinderella and the England football team?
A: Cinderella wanted to get to the ball
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Q: Why wasn't Jesus born in England?
A: He couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin.
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One morning, two Englishmen are strolling down a London street, when they see a stray dog licking its own testicles.
One of the Englishmen turns to the other and says, "Say, I wish I could do that!"
His mate watches the dog for a moment, sighs longingly, and replies, "I should say so! But don't you think you ought to get to know him first?"
--------------------
A ship is sinking. A British with a pipe in his mouth asks the captain:
- Sir, which of those boats are for smokers?
--------------------
Q: How do police know that princess Diana had dandruff?
A: They found her head and shoulders under the steering wheel.
--------------------
Q: How does every English joke start?
A: By looking over your shoulder.
--------------------
Q: Whats the difference between a smart English man and a unicorn?
A: Nothing, they're both fictional characters
--------------------
Q: What's the difference between England and a tea bag?
A: The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
--------------------
Q: What do you call an Englishman in the knockout stages of the World Cup?
A: A Referee.
--------------------
Q: Why was Fabio Capello speeding?
A: To get three points.
--------------------
Q: What does the Loch Ness monster eat?
A: Fish and ships
--------------------
Q: What's the difference between Princess Diana and Elton John?
A: Princess Diana never became a queen of Englan
--------------------
Q: Why aren't the England football team allowed to own a dog?
A: Because they can't hold on to a lead.
--------------------
Q: Why do the English make better lovers than the Germans?
A: Because English are the only one's who can stay on top for 45 minutes and still come second.
--------------------
Q: Did you hear about the winner of the English beauty contest?
A: Me neither.
--------------------
Q: Whats the difference between Cinderella and the England football team?
A: Cinderella wanted to get to the ball
--------------------
Q: Why wasn't Jesus born in England?
A: He couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin.
--------------------
One morning, two Englishmen are strolling down a London street, when they see a stray dog licking its own testicles.
One of the Englishmen turns to the other and says, "Say, I wish I could do that!"
His mate watches the dog for a moment, sighs longingly, and replies, "I should say so! But don't you think you ought to get to know him first?"
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